What are you doing? – Impossible is nothing…

What are you impossible?.jpg

Let’s be clear.

I do this – putting stuff in my ‘reblogitory’

I still don’t facebook.

I do twitter – a bit.

And the recent take on that is not too favourable thanks to a study by Pear Analytics:

“Twitter tweets are 40% babble” BBC

“8.7% of tweets have value to others” Marketing Vox

Perhaps put most elegantly here:

twitter100forblog.gif

Courtesy Information is Beautiful

But it’s not really that which puts me off, its more that most of the time when I read tweets or think about filling the 91.3% of valueless content, I begin to wonder how someone like Aleksey Vayner of Impossible is nothing engages with Twitter.

His name isn’t on there.

He probably doesn’t need it as he’s capable of interviewing himself and clearly feels that 91.3% of what he does is both of value and interest to others.

‘Attending class at Harvard’
‘Running successful business’
‘Lifting 500lbs’
‘Ballroom dancing’
‘Breaking blocks with hand’
‘International skiing’
‘Teaching tennis to celebrities’

All under 140 characters…

Anyone care to retweet?

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Bear Rammage

Not a very nice man.

Yes its Charles Manson – guru, icon and all round inciter of grotesque and pointless violence and slaughter.

In case you were wondering, he said:

“Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble google. Do you begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga?”

If you want to see it all in one go try tofulator

The point of all this?

None really – 2 dimensions of non-entity:

1. “Bear rammage” has become my verbal shorthand for either the rapid decent from lucidity and meaning into gibberish or the manifest use of bollox and passion to hide shortcomings – as in ‘yes I was at that meeting, they were talking a load of bear rammage’

2. It seems to have become a meme at ytmnd and in the intertubes leading to the hysterical (imho) version below:

Medieval Manson sized.jpg

That is all. Carry on begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga.


10 years asleep…

swift butter.jpg

OK – after the event but still.

Johnny Rotten selling me butter…

Iggy Pop… selling me car insurance…(ok, he’s still slightly scary but more in the ‘senior moment’ at the bus-stop rather than the chest-slashing way)

iggy car.jpg
QED

“All the punks are pushing 30 years and are hardly feared
all the young dudes work for all the old brutes in expensive suits…”

Ten years asleep” in 1993 – guess that makes us now: “Twenty Six years couldn’t give a toss.”

Wearing tartan bondage trousers and sniffing glue through a safety pin didn’t form a great part of my adolescence but for some reason I’m happy that Punk happened. For a range of reasons, see Chapter one of “The pirate’s dilemma” by Matt Mason.

And so it seems are today’s rarer punks… Their (The King Blues) album ‘Save the World Get the Girl’ is well worth a listen – if only because you’re completing your Blahg post on the “top ten neo-punk songs with Asterix references” (‘My boulder’ btw if you want to skip actually finding out about them!)

Don’t forget though, they are after all, just a band…(Warning – if the phrase “just a band” means nothing to you, watch this first


Noodles of Shame

noodles of shame.jpgpic courtesy oskay

Been a bit lax about finishing this and some other pieces which is in itself perhaps shameful… but compared to what follows?..

I find it interesting that in the absence of sufficient detail or in the face of mistaken comprehension I (and all of us) can create meanings or associations for words and phrases which are as real to us as their correct counterparts.

I am reliably informed that for quite some time when I was 6 or 7 I could be heard during assembly and at church, repeating the line “forgive us our Christmases” during the Lord’s Prayer instead of the more correct ‘forgive us our trespasses’. I was as equally certain that honeysuckle must be wonderful to eat and Swarfega meant soap in some foreign language I had yet to encounter. So to “Noodles of Shame”… Read the rest of this entry »


What did you make today?…

widgets.jpgpic courtesy psd

Obviously as soon as I decided that working for Advertising/Marketing Communication Agencies is going against Ray Kurzwiel‘s collection of charts (as cited in the excellent Kevin Kelly article ‘The origins of progress‘) and was thus not really for me…

…within no time (ok…a couple of months) there follows a flurry (actually… only 2) interesting pieces about why Advertising Agencies should ‘make’ things:

Ad Age talking about widgets

and BBH (via Ad Age) effectively talking about themselves (how un-Ad Agency like…) but saying something interesting.

(I particularly liked this comment:

“Are you kidding me Mr. Bogle? BBH needs to gain “empathy and commercial awareness of what our clients go through”…

What have you been getting paid for again? It should be shocking for any client to learn what a former beam of creative genius like BBH is doing these days to claim relevance: “Zag takes agency staffers out of the creative bubble and into the world of business as experienced by their own clients.”

Hello: you were supposed to GUIDE clients through their business challenges. Are you telling us, that you have been hiding in your ‘creative bubble’ all those years so that do do your job now you would first need to brush up your ‘experience in business’. If I was your client, I would have assumed you were done interning during college.

As much as I respect creative agencies’ attempts at interdisciplinary thinking and their desperate need for non-creative revenue streams: your rationale behind Zag sure exposes the irrelevance of your core business. Shocking.

Regards,

Martin Albrecht, CROSSMEDIA – ALI HECKMANN | NEW YORK, NY”

All this obviously didn’t come soon enough for me. Read the rest of this entry »


Moraine – or why I failed Geography O-level

morraine.jpgpic courtesy mckaysavage

Moraine from the slow movement of mental glaciers. In fact glaciers are interesting for a number of reasons:

1. Thermometers of human destruction

2. They ‘calve’ to produce icebergs and aside from the fact that one of these indirectly led to Celine Dion torturing us with one of the most irritating Movie theme songs ever, I really love this idea – they are so big they can’t splinter so they calve – I often think that this term is better than ‘shatter’ or ‘split’ when it comes to human feelings and personalities.

3. See 1. – Their absence will probably coincide with ours as a species.

My ability to collect and carry a mass of mental “rocks and sediment” meant that there was no room for my O-level Geography revision. After all I was doing 11 of them – 1 of them had to go and despite the fact that my brother’s house was on the Ordinance Survey Map for the first section and a brave attempt in the second at describing the exports of Scotland as including Tartan and Whisky, it was Geography.

So this is an occasional piece where in the manner of Moraine, I deposit some of these rocks and sediment… Read the rest of this entry »


Create/Innovate

innovcreate.jpgpic courtesy The Jamoker

What do the following words mean?

Create

Innovate

I think they mean further evidence that the traditional marketing model is still as broken as in February 2004 when Jim Stengel, Procter & Gamble’s CMO, told a room full of ad agency executives at the American Association of Advertising Agencies’ Media Conference, that it was. Read the rest of this entry »