Moraine – or why I failed Geography O-level

morraine.jpgpic courtesy mckaysavage

Moraine from the slow movement of mental glaciers. In fact glaciers are interesting for a number of reasons:

1. Thermometers of human destruction

2. They ‘calve’ to produce icebergs and aside from the fact that one of these indirectly led to Celine Dion torturing us with one of the most irritating Movie theme songs ever, I really love this idea – they are so big they can’t splinter so they calve – I often think that this term is better than ‘shatter’ or ‘split’ when it comes to human feelings and personalities.

3. See 1. – Their absence will probably coincide with ours as a species.

My ability to collect and carry a mass of mental “rocks and sediment” meant that there was no room for my O-level Geography revision. After all I was doing 11 of them – 1 of them had to go and despite the fact that my brother’s house was on the Ordinance Survey Map for the first section and a brave attempt in the second at describing the exports of Scotland as including Tartan and Whisky, it was Geography.

So this is an occasional piece where in the manner of Moraine, I deposit some of these rocks and sediment…monkey.jpgpic courtesy scragz

First – a definitive list of Monkey Analogies or phrases. Monkeys are cool and obviously a relative (insert your own gag here) but can you work out what they mean to us from what we choose to describe with them?

Currently I have:

Monkeying about
Monkey’s uncle
Monkey’s toss
Freeze the brass balls off of a Monkey
Monkey business
A Monkeys wedding
Monkey puzzle
A barrel of Monkeys
Monkey suit
A Monkey on your back

Not sure where this goes, but lists are big these days and if nothing else I can link to this (Yes I know its incorrect but it makes me laugh EVERYTIME and can you imagine what the noise in the studio was like…?)

Secondly and for no reason whatsoever other than to get it out of my head the “Happy KneeCap Competition“.

Winners (Both absolute favourites of mine):
Happy Knee.jpg

W.H.Auden and Syd James

Thirdly – Meeting refunds – somebody with sick Photoshop skills, please make a better job of this:


Don’t worry there’s more to come but let the glaciers slide…

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